We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
