it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The uberlube is also flammable
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
