what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
