Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize