pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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