do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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