sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
