I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
