I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
