I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
