i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
