i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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