Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
