At least make sure they are 18
Why
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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