Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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