make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
