I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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