I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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