took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
