don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
