My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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