you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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