This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
