My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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