you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
