spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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