before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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