Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
