You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
