I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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