the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
