HIV tests are more positive than that guy
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
