Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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