The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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