i wish starbucks made bloody marys
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
