Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
