Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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