your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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