Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We just shotgunned beers for America
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
