she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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