I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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