It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
