I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
