At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
