My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
