Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
