I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Someone shit on the floor
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
