i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
