i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
