she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
