Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
