i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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