I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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