you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
