I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
