'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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