ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
