Don't you send me to vm
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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