there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
