the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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