before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
