he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
