i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
