My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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