i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
